I looked around the room. Nothing seemed unusual, but then...
Jake woke up with a gasp, and scrambled out of bed towards the bathroom, before splashing his face with water. He heard his parents running up the stairs, and his father reached him first. "It's okay son, it's okay, we're here, we're here." His mother hugged him. "Did you have the dream again?" Jake nodded. His parents looked at each other. "Have you written down what you saw? You know that's what Dr. Max said to do." His father said. Jake sighed. "Not yet, I'll go do it now." His parents shared another look. "We'll leave you to it, Jake." His mother said. Jake sat down at his desk, and started writing about his constant dream that turned into a nightmare, which plagued him every night. Just as he picked up his pen, he heard a growl, but not before his arms were covered in goosebumps. "I thought Dad turned the heater on?" he thought to himself, but then he turned, and came face to face, with a real life version of what chased him every night through his dreams. The wolf. Midnight black with grey eyes, a growl started deep in its throat, and it leapt.
6 comments:
Kia ora Thomas,
WOW. I am so impressed with your story! It really, really scared me as I was reading it. It all felt so real and I felt that I was right there with Jake and his family experiencing the same emotions that they were. It is quite hard to capture a reader's attention but you have done it masterfully.
I was particularly impressed by your use of proper quotation marks. It was excellent to see that you used the " " marks and included question marks, periods and commas, where needed. Awesome work.
I will definitely look forward to reading this story to Aronui when he comes home later today. He has been reading all of your posts over the past few weeks and often asks if you and your friends at Panmure Bridge have posted another blog. It's really cool to see that you guys have captured his/our attention with your interesting blogs.
Way to go! Keep it up ;-)
Cheers,
Rachel (and Aronui)
Hey Thomas!
Well, that was a scary pile of no-thank-you! Hahah! What a great writer you are! I had no idea a year 8/9 student could write like that. Just WOW.
I wish you had kept going but I guess you felt like you were reaching the sentence limit, so I understand. Great suspense!
I really hope that you nurture this skill of yours, develop it, and give it the opportunities to grow.
If you are interested, I used to be a film student and can share some things which could show you how to write movies. Are you keen?
Kia kaha,
Mark
HI there, Thomas
wow. I have to say your story is really good! I like how the story begins and ends. Fantastic work and keep it Up!
Von, I'm a year 7 student from S.P.X school :)
Kia ora Thomas,
Wow what a brilliant start to your story! If you feel like adding to this when you have time, I know we would all like to read some more and see what happens next! Is the wolf real, or is he still dreaming?
I like how you kept the reader in suspense throughout your story, and I was very impressed with how descriptive and detailed your story is. To have so many different characters in there already shows just how good your writing is!
Congratulations on finishing your first week of your learning journey Thomas. I'm really looking forward to seeing what you can get up to next week :-)
Nāku noa,
Dan.
P.S. Great spelling and punctuation!
Hey Thomas!
I'm Rhea, I live in Canada.I am so impressed by your stories and ideas. You should keep writing, I love your blog!
From,
Rhea
Hi Thomas
What a amazing story. I liked how the story ended when the wolf leaped. I hope I see more blog posts on your blog. Keep up the good work.
Daniel
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